The truth:

I’m a 28 year old computer tech. I’ve been into computers my whole life and I don’t naturally exercise or play sports of any kind. My job has me sitting down all day for 99.9% of the time. The few times I’m active I’m doing a server install, replacing computer hardware or delivering pre setup systems.

In my spare time I like to drink and smoke marijuana. This is what my friends and I do pretty much every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and sometimes during the week.

I love beer. I like it because it’s easy to pace myself. If I want to speed up my drunk i drink more. If I want to slow it down I drink less. If I’ve had to much I switch to water and walk a little of it off.  I have been this way for about 4 solid years. I have just stopped drinking beer. Currently I am drinking white wine and mixed drinks - I find I get really drunk pretty fast and have a hard time slowing it down and keeping it together.

I also just broke up with my 25 year old hot as hell girlfriend. Thanks to facebook I get to see her in pictures in her bikini with early 20‘s doods.

I’m old, fat and sloppy. Time to fix this shit.